The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision. – Helen Keller
Yesterday afternoon, while Jaimie took the kids out for a bike ride to the local comic book shop, this happened.
I meditated a bit first… which helped me to mentally let go of my household chore list, the drama going on between people I cannot help anyway, and the grief carried by several close friends and family members in recent months.
Then, I focused in on my intention for writing this book:
To inspire, encourage, entertain and ignite a fire in people who’ve found themselves feeling lost and bored in the daily grind of their lives.
I sat on the floor with some scissors and tape and went to town on the first two chapters…
What if your thoughts are magnetic?
What if whatever you think about gets pulled into your surroundings?
What do you think about in the shower? Do you replay that fight with your girlfriend? Worry about your son being bullied at school? Stress about your mother-in-law’s upcoming visit?
The worry, fear, anger, frustration, sadness, guilt, shame…
all of these emotions are both strong and negative.
That is what you’re attending to and so that is what you will get more of tomorrow, and the next day and the next.
The cool thing is you can totally turn this around. The not-so-cool thing is that it takes effort and practice pulling yourself out of a negative thought spiral.
The more positive things, people and events you focus on, the more of that you will pull into your life. Either direction you go, it will build momentum. It becomes easier and easier to pull positive (or negative) into your life, and harder and harder to turn it around.
So, it’s your choice, focus on the positive? Or the negative?
Want to be happier, calmer and more efficient every day?
A pocket of time could be a meeting at work, soccer practice with the kids, or dinner out with your spouse. Right before each time pocket, take just a few seconds and decide what you want.
For example: Tonight I want to have a fun dinner with my family, with no devices and lots of smiles and laughing.
Or: This morning before I leave for work, I want everything to go smoothly, calmly and efficiently.
Or: I want this phone call with my boss to be helpful, positive and result in a plan for next week’s priorities.
It’s simple and shouldn’t take a lot of thought or preparation.
Go with your gut on this one. Just try it.
The Vampire Test:
If you feel warn out and drained after spending time with someone: THEY ARE A VAMPIRE.
If you feel energized and excited after spending time with someone: They are NOT a vampire.
Notice how you feel after spending time with certain people. Then delete or at least minimize your exposure to these life-sucking vampires.
We’re now two weeks into our 28-week, out-schooling, US-touring adventure! Yes, ALL six of us (photog-husband is behind the camera in most pics).
Every time we enter a new city, it’s an immediate scramble to find the nearest healthy market, where we proceed to spend an embarrassing amount of $$ on eggs and quinoa, veggies, chicken and wine. Then we’re off to get a temporary library card and lug piles of books to our new “home”.
Next it’s either Guitar Center or a skatepark, depending on the weather. Got to get some energy out of these boys! Yep, we’ve packed up 6 scooters, 5 skateboards, 4 helmets and many many sets of pads.
It’s like living in a frat-house… giant pillow forts in the living room, 10pm wrestling matches, pee just sitting there in the toilet begging to be flushed away, and lots of poop and toot jokes (now referred to as palindrome humor). It’s insanity. But I secretly love it and wouldn’t exchange it for the world.
Want to finally do something you’ve been putting off forever?
Try these MotherFKR steps:
Make the time
Find the tools
Keep it up to make a habit
Remember to be grateful
Making the Time…
This is sometimes the HARDEST part, right? Writing out a “Stop Doing List” helped me magically create more time in my life:
Right now think of five things you do every day that waste a bunch of your time. For example, I replaced listening to talk radio in my car with listening to audio books. I replaced Netflix before bed with meditating. I replaced reading news in the mornings (which just depressed me or enraged me) with a 6 minute zero-sweat work out.
(“Stop Doing List” recommended by Jon Butcher’s Lifebook System)
Find Tools and Tricks…
When I want to start something new, here are some tricks I’ve used:
Gamify It – Author Vishen Lakhiani recommends making a game of it. He tried to see if he could make enough money off his first business to fund one Starbucks coffee a day.
100th Birthday Speech – Consultant Marcia Wieder recommends writing out the speech you’ll give at your 100th birthday party. This is an awesome way to hone in on what is really important to you. Then, notice how much of your day is spent doing something that’ll make that speech really true.
Parkinson’s Law – Writer Tim Ferriss recommends giving yourself a slightly impossible deadline, then making a commitment to someone else who’ll help you to keep it.
Make it a Habit…
Do it first thing in the morning
Prep the stage (find your running shoes the night before, put the juicer on the counter, etc)
Start small (give yourself a real chance to succeed, by starting small and minimizing the chance for excuses and never-ending delays)
Feel it, say it out loud, or even sing it. “I’m so damn thankful I’m doing this!”
Setting Micro Goals in 3 Magical Steps…
1) Make it so incredibly TINY, it’s too embarrassing NOT to do it! (Ex. Today I will complete ONE sit-up. You will likely end up doing a least a few more. Either way, this builds confidence and forces you to start moving in the right direction.)
2) Make sure it’s TIED to a larger goal that’s linked to your values and makes you a healthier, happier human. (Example, if I set a micro-goal to boil one egg, but I despise cooking and find no value in it, then it’s not the right micro-goal for me. But, if I’ve always wanted to learn to cook, yet never seem to find the time, then I’m on the right track.)
3) Do it at the right TIME. Do it before you check you Instagram, text your boyfriend, or eat breakfast. This way, you get it done before being bombarded with distractions AND you can reward yourself afterward with a muffin and a latte!